Hello My Little Gumdrops! Its been quite some time now since I've been here. In the time I've been away, I got a job as a physical therapist, I'm studying to get a degree in music therapy, law, theatre performance and dance and my "enter" key on my laptop broke so please understand, I would format this on principle but my laptop is a bitch and decided to hate me. Its been going from hell to breakfast but I have to say its nice having lots to do. It makes the time pass so much faster. Ahh, youth. Always in such a rush to get somewhere and when they get there, they regret not having enjoyed the ride because now the fun is over. But its nice to feel needed and wanted where ever you go. I recently performed in a 5 hour concert on Thursday and I have to say it was one of the most exhausting experiences but I enjoyed it too much to notice. You'd be amazed how disorienting it is to one day bend over backwards and touch your head to your feet, its even more disorienting when you realize 3 months of your life have just run past you and you didn't even notice. I'm losing track of my days, ladies and gentlemen. I lost track of my mind years ago, but who needs sanity? I don't remember ever having such a useless thing. But I remember having time. Time to look at things, enjoy the things I passively see now. Having so much to do makes me enjoy all the little things I took for granted. I love having nothing to do for a day, a hot bath with a good book, sitting with my best friend and talking about nothing important at all and then falling asleep with my room a mess and absolutely no intention of cleaning it anytime soon because I don't have two eff's to give. I started to love my weekends too. Working from 6am to 6pm 4 days a week will do that to you. Having class in between and on the first day off contributes alot too. Before I started school, I would sleep and sleep and sleep. Usually til early- mid afternoon. 5pm was the latest I ever slept. Lazy ass that I am. I've started to miss time. I'm starting to fear it too. I'm wondering where I'm going to go in life, what will I do, when/ how will I die? But those things are irrelevant. In the end, I've got a home, a job, a family, a best friend, all who love me and would drop everything to help me and thats really all I need, no matter how much I try to deceive myself. You know that thing? That moment. You kiss someone, and it's like the world around you gets all hazy and the only thing in focus is you and this other person, and you know that one person is the person you're meant to be kissing the rest of your life. And for that one moment you've been given this amazing gift and you want to laugh and cry at the same time because you're so lucky you found it and so scared that it will go away at the same time. Inside everyone is a loser afraid to be loved, and out there is the one person who can kiss us and make it all better. Ahh, but you know how I go off and ramble so I'll leave you now. Live long and prosper. A-llonsy! ~~~~Chloe~~~~